The day u left me

Unable to hear your heartbeat...
I'm sorry that i couldn't protect u..
U had left us since 8 Feb 2012.
Sometimes i still think of U and even dream of u...

Not sure what else i can do for u, but wanna say We love u and always do.

Luckily i still have your brother, Jerro.
Jerro is very sweet to me.
He has given me the wonderful gift on Mother's Day.
3 kisses and a hug mean a lot to me. It's the energy for me to move on.
We din really celebrate Mother's Day but spent most of the times at outlet.
Mummy will work harder to move on, not to forget u but to keep u in my mind.

Been through so many things, really have to thanks dear dear, always caring, sweet to me and Jerro.
Have to tell the world that U're really my Superman.

好想听的心跳

好久都没有写了！
一直都在忙着工作，Jerro, 家人。。
这一两个月，我想说真的好累！

在我决定放弃现在的工作，回到jb发展和兼顾Jerro的同时，妈妈发现了你的存在！
你的出现，让我和你爸爸是多么的开心。
医生也没有说什么，也只是说宝宝还很小。就吃安胎药吧！两个星期后再检查。
那晚，我对着Jerro 说妈妈有了你的弟弟或妹妹。他只对我傻傻的笑！

两个星期后的检查，医生就要我多吃安胎药。
我也无疑于他，就多吃！

第一次的来红，我以为我只是太忙太累。
但医生说宝宝还是太小，似乎没有成长。。
还说可能宝宝本身不健康，所以会来红。。
最好不要拖延，得做决定。

我们都不敢相信。。
那一刻，我们不能控制自己的眼泪。。

中西医我们都看了。
也找了另一个医生做检查。
我开始了一个星期的休息。

今天是我们在一起的日子，原本想为老公做个晚餐。
但早上，又来红！比上一次的多。。
我们提早回去复诊。
这一个医生说的和第一位医生一样。
宝宝还是没有心跳。
医生要我们有心理准备，宝宝很有可能不可以再留。

昨晚，我还摸着肚子。要宝宝加油！哥哥很期待你的出现。
宝宝，你真的要加油！再多六天的时间，你要好好努力哦！

大家都叫我不要想太多，我不能控制！
妈妈会很努力的，我们真的就想听听你的心跳！

Mummy miss little jerro

Jerro currently is 7 months and 12 days old oo...
He starts to say "Mi", "Ba", "Eeh"...
He seems grow up and learn something new each time i get to see him...

I'm glad that he grows up but sad that i can't be there for him all the time...
I appreciate my mother-in-law's help in taking care of jerro..
But sometimes i wish i can have jerro with me all time...
Sorry that i have this kind of selfish mindset but i just can't bear to only see him few times in a week...

Dear jerro, mummy miss u so much ya!!

Shine shine - 2nd Aug 2010

4:25a.m.
shine was sleeping and out of sudden felt water bag burst…
water was leaking out!!!

At first, I thought I just couldn’t wake up to pee…
But realized that it was a water bag breaking out…
Time for us to meet up with our little Jerro!

4:30a.m.
excitement and anxious around me, shine woke mammy up to help me…
meanwhile gave a call to superdear…
superdear rushed back from sg…

4:31a.m. to 5:15a.m.
while waiting for superdear, shine was having early breakfast and chit-chat with mammy…
shine felt the contraction which getting more and more frequent…

5:20a.m.
Superdear reached home and had a cup of hot coffee.
We then left home to hospital for delivery of little Jerro…

6:00a.m. to 9:00am
Nurse told me, it opened 3cm…doctor should come in around 9:00a.m.
We both were so excited meanwhile contraction was making me PAIN PAIN and still pain!!!
I was screaming to dear, I daren’t have second one…
Dear even promised OK, one’s enough!!

9:01a.m. to 11a.m.
Doctor checked and informed us that 6cm opened..
And he estimated around 11a.m.++, Little Jerro should be delivered…
Another round of PAIN…I was asking for the pain relief.. even though known it won’t help much…but I just wished that I would be the exception…

11:01a.m.
Nurse helped me to check, it was 9cm++…
The nurse tried to comfort with “sayang…kasihan…”
And encouraged me to push and keep on pushing

11:15a.m.
Doctor came to visit…
It was right time to PUSH…
Doc n Nurse said: GIVE US A PUSH…BABY HEAD IS DOWN… PUSH AGAIN…DON’T STOP…
Dear said: SHINE ADD OIL, PUSH FURTHER MORE…
Dear was with me at all times, he really be with me all the ways…
He did all the steps (i.e. breathing, relax, pushing) together with me

12:20p.m.
Little Jerro yet to come out…his head could only show a bit while I oredi used out all the my strength I have…
My whole body was shaking due to over pushing…
Doctor told us we could not drag furthermore…our little jerro’s position seemed incorrect and the only way out was “Operation”…

12:25p.m.
Nurse gave me a form to sign and got me ready for operation
Dear couldn’t stay by my side anymore…
I just felt tired, weak, cold….
Then they brought me into the operation room…
I saw the doctor and nurse were preparing whatever equipment they needed…
I was still having contraction…doctor asked me to push one more time…
My last chance before operation was fail too

12:30p.m.
Doctor gave me an injection from the back…
Just within a second, I couldn’t feel anything from my lower back till leg…
I could feel that doctor was dealing with my tummy with his equipment

12:42p.m.
Doctor announced to me, little Jerro came to the world…
I heard his loudly crying and saw the nurse carrying him and cleaning up his body…

12:48p.m.
Nurse brought little jerro to me and let me kiss him before she brought out of the room..
So touch to see him in front of me…
I have been always thinking how I would felt when I first meet up with Jerro…
And this is the way…

04 Aug2010, 7:11p.m.
We are now at home…
The wound is still very painful
But with dear and jerro around, I feel so warm and happiness :D
We shall work hard for our family ooo...

dear dear: baby's name

...Me the Lazy Fat Cat...

been years never update blog... y?! hmm... lazy to find excuses, only due to "laziness".. kekekee.....

my shine shine pregnancy EDD (estimate date of delievery) is 17 Aug, so it is only less than 1 month from now, doc informed tat baby is now mature & he might come to c this beautiful world anytime. Wow.. time flies...!! seems like we've just had honeymoon at Kapalai not long ago, but now shine shine is having the big tummy (much more bigger than my belly, kekeke....)

Lots of baby things have been well prepared, ie baby cot, chinese tonic, first time parent course, baby clothes (from new born till 3 years old, kiasu leh....), pampers, confinement lady etc etc. one big thing i wanna mention is that baby's god dad sponsor his dslr, nikon d90 to capture baby's precious moments!! woohoo... but problems comes, shine shine & me dun even know how to use this precious device, normal digital camera is oredi more than enough for me, aiyooo.. better learn now, if not, baby will grow & blame his superb dad & mum...

hmm.... another headache comes, baby's name... previously we named this yet-to-come baby as "jethro", yet i just found the pronunciation of "jethro" could be either [jeth-roh] or [je-throe] from different dictionary. to avoid confusion among friends, and also difficult pronunciation for both grandparents, we have a new name, "jerro". meaning?! i also dun know, guess this is a self create name & we both just like it :)

...Our New Family Member?!...

Shine shine - Superdaddy super busy

Reached home about 7:15pm after work...
Felt so lonely ya...
At 9:15pm, deardear still working oo...
Dear told shine shine, this week would be very bery super busy oo...
Nvm, shine and little jethro shall wait dear home ya...

Just realize that, i really enjoy the time with deardear...
even we just watch tv program, looking at each other but do nothing...
Just feel super sweet to have deardear in my life...
Hope dear can back home early bit ya...

mmm, gonna update on our little jethro ya..
Little jethro is approximately 2kg oo... :D
lately im easily hungry again oo...
maybe little jethro needs more food to grow up ya..
mammy will add oil oo...

Time to read story book for little jethro...
Tonight shine shall read on behalf of deardear about "little prince" for our little jethro...
:)

Shine shine - 一起努力！！

昨夜，没睡好...
也许有点紧张今天的monthly check-up...
深夜里，听见superdaddy的打鼾声和感觉little jethro的练拳...
好幸福..好幸福...

检查时，医生说little jethro现在已有1.26kg oo...
看着他一直在动，好期待与little jethro见面喔！！
还有3个月，我们3个一起努力吧！！